The Baton is Being Passed

The baton is being passed.  He is the last runner.  There will never be another one come from my womb or hold my hand at this age.  This Christmas I am soaking in every moment. I will never walk this way again.  He is singing the Christmas carols and has his first Christmas program on Tuesday. He is getting his stories a little mixed up, as I was told the other day when he called out, "Mom come look.  Joseph was thrown into the pit by the Wise Men!".  He needs to get the Josephs straightened out..kinda funny since his middle name is Joseph.

So I grabbed my last one and put him in the car to travel to McKinney, Texas for a Charles Dickens's Christmas.  We compromised.  He allowed me to window shop and I allowed him to ride on the carousel.  We counted nutcrackers in each store, as mom visually took in what each store had to offer in split seconds.  So I am bringing you today on our journey...the last one of six to allow their mom to enjoy Christmas through the eyes of a four year old!

A Carousel brings out the kid in all of us...I enjoyed it also!

How much fun to dress up in character....I loved all the hats!!

Another break..."I has seen enough...remember I am a boy!"  So we had to stop for Candy Cane Lane.

Okay...he will now let me go in another shop. I love the buildings even more than what they contain.

Can you tell that my delight got passed down to my oldest, who is now a custom home builder?

These stairs have been so worn the middle is worn down.  These were the stairs in what was the bank.

The stories each of these buildings could tell....oh my... what history!

The wooden floors creaking with character... the beaded board ceiling with bronzed lighting hanging down.

What beautiful craftsmanship that has survived all these years.

Doesn't he belong in a bank? 

Isn't this funny?  Why? I have no idea why they hung them out there...but it did get my attention.

I love this window....and yes, the saying is great also!

I want this door!!!  Okay, builder son... put it on my wish list for my house one day!

REINDEER!!! "Can they fly?"  "No, that is make believe." "Oh, make-believe like Santa Claus?"

"Yes, but it is fun to enjoy make-believe... but Christ is real!" 

My conviction on Christmas was to not tell my children Santa Claus was real.  It has never been

a problem, nor do I feel they missed out.  As easy as the conversation was above, well I had

that conversation five other times...this was my last time!

A train...he loves trains and I have picked up his passion.

We finished by climbing into the sleigh.  He stopped long enough for one picture...

"How many nutcrackers are in McKinney?"  You guess.

Saturday, we are heading downtown to see the Dallas Christmas Parade...I get to watch

it through the eyes of a four-year-old....my last!

I QUIT!!!

google.com

I quit...that is it, I am finished!!!!  I am no longer going to be a MOM!!

 The confrontation had my stomach in knots and tears running down my eyes.  The words "It is just too hard"...running through my mind over and over again.  The cost is too high and I can't pay it.  Doesn't anyone know I am tired....emotionally tired?

So is the path at times of parenting.  There are days of complete overwhelming joy!  Days that the excitement of being a parent is going to cause your heart to bust from joy!  Then there are those days that you question why you ever had kids.  As Bill Cosby has said, "Now I know why some animals eat their young or I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

We have walked through many trials with our six children.  Days that I knew I could not in my own strength continue on this parenting journey.  I WAS RIGHT, I COULDN'T PARENT IN MY OWN STRENGTH.  That is when I would lay it all down and God would come and pick me up, strength my hands and knees that were weak, and together we would forge forward.

He knows what it is like to be a parent.  His children began rebelling in the Garden of Eden and He has seen the agony of it ever since.  His son paid the price for our sin of rebellion.

This latest trial has come to an end...the fruit, only time will tell.  God was there through every step. He had prepared my heart for weeks through prayer and the word.  He knew what was coming and what he wanted accomplished.  The child will answer to God on the decisions and we will have to step back praying that the truth that we have planted in this child will come to blossom.

Making a decision to have a child is momentous. 

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking

outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

If you have never been hated by your child

you have never been a parent. - Bette Davis

When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store

directly in your tear ducts. - Rober Brault

Psalm 127:3-5 ESv

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV 

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

My four-year-old wakes me up with a smile and a kiss.  I pull myself out of bed and thank God I am a mother...resting in the assurance that anything that comes across my path He will provide the strength.  He will forgive me of my sins and He will complete the work He has began.

Just Your Presence

I heard his wakening voice calling.  I called back, "I am coming!"  He is unable to get himself out of his bed, therefore, depending on us once again, for the normal task most four-year-olds accomplish by themselves.  


He calls back, "I don't need anything, I just want my Daddy." His Dad rushes to his side to bend down and kiss him all over his face as our son lights up in enjoyment...his day has started out right.  Just his Daddy's presence was all he desired.


I stood in the door way, having finished my time with my Heavenly Father, thinking isn't that what all Father's want from their children?  He didn't want anything, just to see his Dad.  Did I approach my Father with the delight of just being in His presence or did I go with a list of desires I wanted from him?


My heart burst into song, which poured from my mouth.  My husband lead this song so many times years ago...my heart sang it back to my Heavenly Father.

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after thee

You alone are my hearts desire

And I long to worship thee

You alone are my strength my shield

To You alone may my spirit yield

You alone are my hearts desire

And I long to worship thee

May He be your heart's desire today. May you long to just be in His presence...having a childlike heart of joy while resting in His arms.

Cast boy is doing fine, crawling around while I am learning to just take one day at a time.  We go Friday to have more x-rays and another cast.  He should be able to walk with a walking boot soon.  We are planning a cast signing party next week! Thanks for your prayers.

Do You Hear Your Mother's Voice?

Okay, if you are already laughing then you know what I did....I broke the carnal laws of washing and drying my clothes.


My mother's greatest gift to me was preparing me for taking care of my own household.  So, at the early age of 19, when I married, I never remember calling to ask for advice... I had it down.


So, the other day when I opened my dryer, I started to laugh out loud with my mother's guiding voice in the background.

1. Always hook your bras straps together...so they will not attach to other garments
2. Never dry your bras...hang them out to dry
3. It is best to hand wash your bras

I guess after running my own household for 30 plus years, I must have had a little rebellion in me because I  didn't obey  the rules. I grabbed my unhooked bras and tossed them into the washer.  I then proceeded to throw them into the dryer.  Round and round the dryer went, entangling the hooks of my bras in its grip.


To my 14-year-old's horror, I called him down for assistance.  He reluctantly, with a red face, dislodged the dangling boulder holder from it wedged claws of the dryer door.


What is funny is that I did this twice in two weeks....sounds like a hard head to me.


I walked away wondering... when my adult children hear my voice, what do they hear?  Do they hear..."don't mix whites with colored clothes or you will have pink underwear", when they pull them from the dryer?  Do they remember me when pulling out melted plastic from the dishwasher?


My prayer is that they will remember more... that they will remember our prayers, our devotionals, our forgiveness, our laughter and most of all, our relationship with Christ.  I pray that memorized scripture will come back to memory when the time is needed... that all the Proverbs we read will be there for their guidance.  I hope my voice will be remembered for tenderness and love, rather than just correction.

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Proverbs 1:8

Have you heard your mother's voice lately?  What was she saying to you?

Still Needing a Little Hand

As my nest grows smaller it is funny to watch  when my adult children ask for a "hand".  Although their independence from me is a good indication of a job well done, a mother's heart still needs to know that she is needed...every so often. 

Sanding all the surface for the base coat...this old piece will be transformed for a 19 year olds apartment.

 Base coat  of "pepto bismal pink!", Behr crackle brushed over all surfaces (the darker pink drawers has been coated with the crackling)

 The top coat is a white with just a small tint of pink.  The crackling affect starts immediately.

Finished product...ready for delivery to her new apartment, where she plans to adorn the finished dresser  with personalized knobs.

So as my daughter launched into the world she returned for only a small helping hand.  She needed  a dresser redecorated for her new apartment. Everyone needs a hand now and then....for a mom, well it is one of the most treasured things we are allowed to do....offer a hand!

Time for a New Shell - Hermit!

 Hermits need to move beyond the confines of their comfortable dwelling in order to continue their growth. So this hermit (me) peered out from my comfortable, secure, tightly-fitting shell of my family dwelling to expand my growth.  As I explored new adventures outside my comfort zone, I remembered why I had settled in so many years ago.


Hermit crabs outgrow their shells, needing them to search for another dwelling to expand.
Prayer of Jabez - says "enlarge my boundaries".


Searching out my new expanse, I signed up to volunteer at the schools once a week and also attend a women's Bible study.
Our schedule should allow for this new growth.  The volunteer time would occur while my four-year-old is at pre-school.  The Bible study would take up evening time, not interfering with our homeschool day.  My fourteen-year-old could handle himself during volunteer time and take on the duties of child care for one evening each week.


I grew excited with the possibilities of my expanded shell.  Larger surroundings can bring, not only growth, but refreshment to the soul.


Then, like the crab who ventures out, the predator came looking for the adventurous crab.


First, the predator came with the volunteer training.  The schedule collided with my son's baseball game and my husband's much needed work time.  This would leave the four-year-old and his brother abandoned at the ball field.  My husband stepped up to the plate, losing some work time, to cover me during this time.
Second, the predator met me with conflicting schedules on my Bible Study evening.  The only night of the week that my son and his girlfriend's family could eat with us landed on the same night.


I turned to the old shell...I was comfortable there.  My family could depend on me to be there.  No one changed their schedule for me because my schedule was theirs.  This is how it had been for the majority years of my 26 years of mothering.

The new shell meant "growth".  I am edging on age 50.  This is a new season of my life.  I need to learn how to expand in new territories.  My kids' schedules will not always dominate mine.  I need to expand beyond my comfortable "shell".


Which shell would  I return to as I stood naked between the two choices?


Slowly creeping, with watchful eyes for more predators, I scurried into the larger shell.  My family will make adjustments.  I will continue to serve them as I have in the past.  Hopefully, my growth will encourage growth in them also.

Is it time for you to find a new shell,  one that will expand your growth?  I know alot of you are expanding into some very large new shells...blessings!!!

Kids Are Like Kites

My fall semester is ending in a three-week test like my son.  I have ripped apart the footstool, painted the wood, sanded down the rocker and started painting.  My calligraphy is going slow....need to practice more. I read through the aromatherapy book...interesting, will need more time for that study.  I also read through the new authors I was exploring.  My favorite by far was reading through parts of "Forever, Erma" by Erma Bombeck.

There is just something to be said about reading the wisdom of seasoned women.  I found some interesting things in the younger writers' books, but they really left me with, well, you haven't lived long enough yet!  Erma made me smile, cry, nod my head and a desire to set with her over a cup of tea.  There is such  truth to scripture saying the "older women are to teach the younger women", and yes, I now find myself in the category of older women, but I still have so much to learn.

So I want to share one of her treasures....just in part.
Erma is talking to a woman who is mourning her daughter leaving home.  The daughter is 24!  She writes this piece encouraging mothers to know when their job is over.

"I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.  You run with them until you're both breathless...they crash...you add a longer tail...they hit the rooftop....you pluck them out of the spout.  You patch and comfort, adjust and teach.  You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.
  Finally they are airborne, but they need more string so you keep letting it out.  With each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with the joy, because the kite because more distant, and somehow you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that bound you together and soar as it was meant to soar - free and alone.
   Only then do you know that you did your job".

Thank you Erma...I passed my three-week test.  Thanks for the advice on parenting, empty-nest, marriage, holidays, housekeeping, family, friends and aging. Thanks to so many seasoned women who share their wisdom daily through their blogs. May we all learn to pass the baton to the younger generation as we release our kites!

Entering the World of Imagination

When was the last time you let yourself enter the world of Imagination?

This past weekend our yard became a field of mushroom circles due to our latest rain storm.  Popping up in their different shapes as they formed "fairy" rings in our grass.

Uncharacteristic of my loving husband, he came through the front door asking for the camera, while telling our four-year-old to hurry.  Before the adventure could begin my husband had allowed his imagination to overtake his sense of "to-do-list".  He rummaged through the toy box for some "little people."

Curious of Dad's unusual behavior, our four-year-old obediently followed his dad out with wonder.  His own imagination became engaged as Dad positioned the little people under the toadstools.

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. 
Theodor Geisel 

Imagination has brought mankind through the dark ages to its present state of civilization. Imagination led Columbus to discover America. Imagination led Franklin to discover electricity. 
L. Frank Baum 

He is the giant among the little people!!!

Live out of your imagination, not your history. 

Stephen Covey

Our God is the creator of imagination!  What imagination He has!  When was the last time you allowed your imagination to flow and experience an uncharacteristic part of yourself?  Doesn't it always put a giggle in your spirit when your imagination soars?  May you have the imagination of a child!  May you see the world around you through the Creator's Eyes!  May you slow down long enough to let imagination bubble up and overflow through you!

Another Change - Nice!

In Texas the saying goes, "If you don't like the weather just stay around a day and it will change."  So Texas weather keeps us hopping, never leaving us bored, and so is life!

This past week I stepped into unfamiliar territory.  For the first time in 26 years of parenting I took a child to Preschool!  Leaving this 49 year old mother with........

• Where do I go? How do you do this?
• Fighting back adjustment tears for me!!!
• Excitingly watching the clock to go pick him up
• Enjoying the joy this change was bringing to my four year old - for two days a week
• Ready Confetti for the night before school...under his pillow
• Hat day on Thursday
• The Thrill of being the first to bring home "Beezy" for the weekend - we will record all the bee does with us for the four days

Change number 2 - my fourteen year old's high school year.  He is a part of a one day co-op that includes writing, history, literature and art.  On Friday I hosted the Book Club in my home with full Greek theme set table.  They had just finished reading Odysseys.  The table was adorned with Greek food.  Even "Beezy" got his picture taken with the group.

So I am being moved outside my comfort zone.  A good move, but still a change. There is a season for everything and a new season is visiting our household.  Like the Texas weather, I know I will get use to it!
I guess I am not too old for change.  Thank you Lord for this new season!!! 

What Was I Thinking?

In a moment of total insanity I confessed to "Ethel" that I was bored!  Life just seems  less eventful than when my house was full of four teenagers, with five children playing sports, taking music lessons and home schooling.  My gas tank stays fuller and the calendar can be kept in my head.  So for a short period of time, probably given to me by God for rest, I had the notion that I was bored.

To recap my first two days this week and to STOMP  that notion to the ground, I will list our days back on our fall schedule.

• Apartment questions from adult children, paint, bills, moving 
• Two college students phone calls on class schedule, financial aid question, jobs, health
• Husband with new diet requirements and sleep schedule...oh, my, can we say "hard"
• 9th grader needed to finish a weeks worth of work in two days to attend "Fish" camp with friends at church
• 4 year old decided to paint his face pink with purple dot...they weren't waterproof
• Husband trying to get resume out to find a job to support family
• Fire threatened to burn up our neglected, but much loved camper in storage area
• Fall Baseball sign ups...now to refresh the weak skills...batting cages in 100 degree temps.
• Clothes clean, packed and all school work finished and get son to "fish" camp

And to think I said I was bored!  I think I will keep that comment to myself from now on and RELISH in any time that the Lord allows me to feel an ounce of boredom!!!

How is your week going?  Do you have time to get bored?  Has God given you some REST time?  If so I would encourage you to enjoy your slower pace...who knows what tomorrow will hold!

Racing to Put My Foot in the Door Jam

The door starts to swing close on its hinges, as I race to put my foot between the door and its frame.  It can't be closing... I have so much more I want to do! Yet, the calendar begs to be turned to the month of August.  Summer is coming to an end.


In Texas, I will still experience 100plus-degree weather for another month or more.  Fall will not tempt us into its cool mornings until possibly late September, but the school year has now been pushed to start in August, instead of the olden days after Labor Day.


I have enjoyed this slower pace summer. Last year held unemployment and uncertainty. This summer, my nest only holds two and I haven't experienced this slow of pace in years. Yet, I can see my unaccomplished "dream list" hasn't been crossed off either.


I will venture into an uncharted territory this year with both of my younger sons.  Number 5 will enter high school with a home school co-op.  I will delegate his education, outside of my supervision, for the first time in my homeschooling journey.  I look forward to this welcome freedom for me, as well as the benefits he will receive in a group setting.  In the past 21 years of home educating, there have always been siblings doing school along side each other...now our family is in a new season.


My second new adventure will be putting my 6th child in "kids day out" for two partial days a week.  In my 26 years as a stay-at-home mom, I have never used these services.  Because of the 10 year gap between him and his brother, he doesn't have a lot of friends close to his age.  He is so excited.  I am sure the biggest adjustment will be on my side of this new adventure.


Seasons come and seasons go.  Past seasons for me seem to have been more comfortable and predictable with little adjustments from one school year to another.  This new season seems so foreign.


As I reluctantly turn my calendar to August, I read these words placed over the artist's precious picture of a small boy.

Doin' Chores

Chores are Good for You

They are not punishment to bring you sorrow

The bucket of chores Mamma gives you today

Will make a responsible

caretaker tomorrow

Along the bottom are the words that remind me that as I continue on this parenting journey, even with the new, unfamiliar twist, I have a responsibility.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Prov. 22:6

So I put my foot into the door jam to stop the closure for two more weeks of summer.  My focus will be to emotionally adjust to this new season and complete the list of chores remaining.  We will still hold off fall by swimming as long as possible and eating dinner outside on the patio table.

Blessings to you as you come to the end of your summer and look forward to your change of season - whatever that may bring.  What excitement each season of change brings!!

The Limits of Parents

This poem resonates in my spirit as I watch my children of all ages.  It also brings such a word to parents...no matter your choice of school, devotional time, church participation, parenting skills, whatever you feel will make them become what you dream...they still have the ultimate choice in the matter.  Many times, our idea of success in parenting can  make our system an "idol" and we would try to pass it on to others as the "right" method.  God will not share His glory. He is the only perfect parent, and even His children rebelled in a perfect culture...Adam and Eve.

God is in control and He is at work in our children.  I hope this brings encouragement to all...no matter which leg of the parenting journey you are on.  Releasing your inadequacies to the one who takes our weaknesses and makes us strong.
This is dedicated to the many hurting parents I know...you are in my prayers.  May we all support each other and not shoot the wounded.


The Limits of a Parents - John Mark Ministries


I gave you life, but I cannot live it for you
I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot decide for you
I can buy you a beautiful garment, but I cannot make you beautiful inside
I can off your advise, but cannot accept it for you
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish
I can teach you to respect, but I cannot force you to show honor
I can advise you about friends, but I cannot choose them for you
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure
I can tell you the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation
I can tell you about drinking, but I cannot say no for you
I can warn you about drugs, but I cannot prevent you from using them
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious
I can warn you about sin, but I cannot make you moral
I can love you as a child, but I cannot make you walk with God
I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Jesus your Lord
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life

Unbalanced

I heard it calling me. The sides bumping, the visual of wiggling its way from its appointed place, the sound of agony could be heard throughout the house. I remember well, going into the room and seeing one stranded in the middle of the room, with the water holes still connecting it to the wall preventing its total escape. I know that waiting too long will mean it almost beats itself to death. Years of doing loads and loads of laundry have taught me to not ignore this noisy cry for help.

  As I reached into the belly of this electric washing device, I couldn't help but let my mind wander with thoughts of how our lives can get off-balance so easily. Like the machine with clothes piled against one wall instead of evenly distributed throughout the tub, my life can start to resemble this tilted tub.

  I can become tilted in doing good things. As I have heard quoted many times – "we are robbed from the best by the good things in life, not the bad things." I don't have to slip up by getting carried away in major distractions; just the little foxes that rob the vines can deprive me of the best that life has to offer.

  "The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important." Martin Luther King Jr

  How often we don't weigh our choices to select the best... time with our child, reading, playing, listening, singing, dancing. But instead, we look to our recordable goals. How often an unplanned visit to a friend can lift both their spirit and our own. Cooking dinner for extended family or friends at the last minute, instead of having to always pull out the calendar to see when it is convenient for everyone. Maybe convenience is the robber of some of the best things that life has to offer.

  How many times do we put earthly things above heavenly? How many times are we a Martha instead of a Mary? 

"Learn to sense what is vital and approve and prize what is excellent and of real value (recognizing what is the highest and the best)" Philippians 1:10

  My four-year-old is trying to balance on his bike. He tilts to one side and the other. He screams, "Mom, did you see that?" He is my last. I will only see this feat accomplished by my own child one last time. The dishes can wait; the clothes washer can be turned off and balanced later, the computer time can be put on hold, emails returned later, schedule delayed. I don't want to miss the Best for Good. I want a more balanced life! It is too easy to become like my productive washing machine and get off-balance, leaving me stranded in the middle of the room with sounds of agony being heard throughout my house. Even when unbalanced times happen, I am still connected to the water source and He hears my cry. He alone can rebalance my life and put me back into action.

  Enjoy your summer as you keep your balance!


 

Otters, Lions, Beavers and Golden Retrievers - Oh My!!!

Otters, Lions, Beavers and Golden Retrievers...beware!!!


Do you have these animals living at your house?  Well I do!  A FAMILY CAN BE A REAL ZOO!

Years ago, when there were five children in our home, a friend gave us the books "The Treasure Tree" and "The Two Trails" by Trent and Smalley.  I had read books on personalities, (that was a big thing in the late 80's), but I hadn't read one that put it in such easy terms for my kids.

I remember first reading on personalities - Choleric, Melancholic, Sanguine, and Phlegmatic - "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer, many years ago.  I guess I was too wise in my own young eyes because I didn't like being put into any category.  Well, age brings some wisdom and when the different personalities started to display themselves in my own home....well, let's just say I became a believer.

I wanted my children to accept each others personalities and not become prideful in their own eyes.  I would use illustrations about how we were each part of a recipe and without one of the ingredients, the end product wouldn't taste good.  I wanted us to embrace our differences and not allow them to tear us apart.

So, when these books hit our home, we had a high schooler, a middle schooler, two elementary scholars and a toddler.  The personalities were in full swing.  The Lion had entered his teen years, the otter was playing through his middle school years...on and on!

These books have helped my children see how to work together and appreciate each others' strengths.  They enlighten them as to the value of each of the personality types.

Personality Checklist
Lion - daring and unafraid of new situations, likes to be a leader, ready to take on challenges, is firm and serious about what is expected, makes decisions quickly 


Golden Retriever - always loyal and faithful to friends, listens carefully, likes to help others, is a peacemaker, doesn't like it when others argue, patient and willing to wait for something 


Beaver - is neat and tidy,notices details, sticks with something until done, asks lots of questions, likes things done the same way, tells things just the way they are

Otter - talks a lot and tells wild stories, likes to do all kinds of fun things, enjoys being in groups, likes to perform, full of energy and always eager to play, always happy and sees the good part of everything

Now most of us are a combination, but we usually have a dominant side.  Our family is very heavily weighted in the Otter department, with the other personalities spread through the rest of us.  Our otters tend to steal the stage and the rest of us have learned how to create order out of the chaos that they might sometimes leave behind....but we never have a dull moment round here.  They are also the ones missed when we have a lion/beaver planned family gathering (even though the other personalities have shown up) because the party tends to be less entertaining.

These little children's stories have helped us...and me, to remember the strengths and weaknesses associated with each of our personalities.  They have allowed us to give grace to each other and to understand the various personalities as God adds to our family.  God has given each of us our own special outlook on life...but isn't it a good thing he didn't make us all alike?  Variety is the joy of having a family!!!  We get to know these personalities at home first and then we can embrace them in the world.

How have you taught or learned to accept different people's personalities?

Be Careful Little Eyes

While singing along with Casting Crowns song "It's a Slow Fade," my four-year-old became quiet and still when the little girl began to sing.  When she was finished, he announced that he "liked that song."  Knowing he wasn't interested in the body of the song, I started singing the familiar Sunday School song.  I went through all the verses..."be careful little eyes, ears, feet, and hands."


Finishing up the song with the chorus ringing in my ears, "There is a Father up above who is looking down in love". I heard my son say, "sing it again!"  So, like any good mother, I started from the beginning of the song.  By the second verse, I knew that God was wanting me to hear this song.


The adult verse from Casting Crowns states it is a slow fade.


My son then got quiet at the end of the second time through and announced that he had seen something he should not have... a teachable moment for both of us.  As we talked through the matter, I also heard "it is a slow fade".   How easy it is for us to lower our standards as the job of parenting goes through the years.


I have been accused of being legalistic and the bad mom who wouldn't allow a show, toy, activity or (fill in the blank) but along this journey of 26 years, I had allowed "a slow fade".  My four-year-old was reminding me that he still had a very tender heart, and I had a responsibility to guard it.


If you haven't watched the video...I hope you will.  How have you allowed  "a slow fade" in your life? Please don't share it,  just remember that God is a God of second chances, and thank Him for those small words of correction. "There is a Father up above and He is looking down in love!"


Blessings to you all...as I continue to live in grace, while training my two younger children.

Sandcastles and Margins

After my husband's margin-less, 14 consecutive working days, I kept hearing my four-year-old's repeated request that he wanted to go build sandcastles.  Margin in our home had been replaced with constant need for household income, which is never a good combination for a marriage, let alone the children residing in the house.

Margin - is having breath left at the top of the staircase, money left at the end of the month, and sanity left at the end of adolescences - by Richard Swenson

Years ago, I read the book Margin - Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by  Richard Swenson.  He does a wonderful job explaining how we need to restore margin in our  lives.  I was reminded again about the importance of choosing our pace of life, instead of letting it choose you in Eldredge's book, Love and War.

So, hearing my son's words ring in my ears that he wanted to make sandcastles along with my husband's much needed day off from work, I suggested we head to the lake...to.make sandcastles.

As we allowed the wind to blow through our hair, the chilly water splash upon our bodies and quiet time to listen to nature's sounds, recovery to our souls was felt by all.  Our fourteen-year-old had time to conquer trees...climbing to the top brought a feeling of victory.  The four-year-old just relished the family time, while building his sandcastles.  My husband became light-hearted....I received passionate kisses.

As life starts to crowd out margin, we need to step back and see what we can change.  Can we say "No" to that extra activity?  Can we choose NOT to watch television and instead go out to throw the football with our son?  Can we stop and go for a walk with our husband, instead of filling every waking hour with running someone somewhere?  Can we wait a little longer before we make that purchase and instead put the money into savings?

As a mother who has walked through years with four teenagers at once, it is a constant battle to keep margin in our lives.  During different seasons of struggles, it may feel impossible to slow down our pace...even though it would allow us strength through the battle.  To be honest, we weren't very successful because it didn't come easy to most of the members in our family.  But this season of life, God has given us another chance to step back and make sure our priorities are in the right place... and enjoy life and each other more.  Learning margin will give us a better quality of life...and time for sandcastles.

Summer is here (or at least in Texas)....ENJOY and make sure you put margin in your life and not let your life set the pace for you!!!

Pre-Man Walks through My Halls

A "pre-man" walks through the halls of my house.  I have been through this journey three other times, I hope I am ready!  All the signs are there....he towers over me, masculine hair grows on his face, his feet enter the room before his body, odors once unfamiliar are a daily occurrence, our food budget has increased and  he has noticed girls and they have noticed him.  The voice has dropped and sounds like his brothers, leaving me guessing who it is when they call.  His hair has become a very big deal....oops, I cut the bangs too short. He will survive, even though he wants to know how to make his hair grow faster.

Such a precious time of growth for both him and I. This is the time I must step back and remember not to treat him like his four-year-old brother.  I have to give him some room.  I have to learn to respect his manhood.

I also must now relinquish some of the time I have had with him to his father.  Late night adventures or sports watching has become a regular event in our house with his Dad.  The four-year-old and I go to bed, they stay up for bonding time.

Past experience has taught me well...I hope...that this is also the time where he will assert his masculine headship.  He will have to learn to continue to obey and love his mom, while I remember that one day he will run a household.  I have to discern if his actions are rebellion or just stretching his wings.  My comment to my oldest was that every time he stretched his wings, I was the one who got knocked over...but we both survived.  I never want my sons to be so hen-pecked that that becomes their choice for a bride.  I want them to marry someone who is a helpmate and will walk with them.  Sometimes at this stage in parenting, the balance is hard to achieve.

I watch his passions, as I did the other boys.  For this one, it is computers and electronics instead of car engines and musical instruments.  He enjoys quiet time and too much stimulation wears him out.  He quietly bounces the basketball up and down the street.

I have read that they need time to think, so I am setting different priorities to make that time available.

This is also the season of the ROOM!!!  The first-born was good at keeping his clean until he returned from a month in Africa....the others...well, you could never see the floor.  Past brothers were known for placing caution signs across the door of their rooms.

Yes I have standards...but I have also learned to pick my battles.  His older brothers (who no longer live with us) keep their places clean and know how to clean...so I accomplished something, even if at times I doubted they would ever learn.

Again, I watch and enjoy my son turning into the Man God has called him to be...not just my idea, but what God wants.  Again, I grow teary-eyed that I can't pick him up and kiss away the wounds of the world.  Again...this mother has to step back and enjoy the process, by not holding on too tight.  I am slowly releasing my apron strings.

Proverbs 4 - "Hear, O sons, the instructions of a father......When I was a son in to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, Then he taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words, Keep my commandments and live...."

Sons...what a precious gift...what an awesome responsibility..............how much FUN!!!!