Welcome to my eclectic journey of my life and delights. This year my theme is surrendering my writing pen to the true author, Jesus Christ, while looking forward to the future, reflecting on the past and dancing through my journey.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Is She Real?

As a mother of  five boys I look at life a little differently.  My only daughter joined me with a giggle or two as we walk through the accessories available to young women.  Another friend asked me through a gasp..."Have you seen this?"  We both have boys and start to imagine how it could be on an innocent wedding night.
This is totally for fun. I know the stats on innocent wedding nights, even though I pray that for my children.

What is Real?  Is this my wife?

After waiting for the special night the couple comes to their honeymoon night.
As she prepares for the event, which doesn't leave anything to your imagination, she starts to disassemble.
Hair - What once looked like long, flowing locks are too painful to sleep in, now reveal a bob..
Eyelashes...they weren't permanent so they were intended to be taken off before bed

Blue eyes were popular, but color contacts needed removed at night
Bra - which appeared to hold a 38D now releases the average breast size of 34B...little cleavage
 Buns -The slim body admired by society doesn't leave a woman with an ounce of fat, so the fake bottom is removed , leaving behind a bony hiney
 Height - The high heels are left at the entry door, diminishing her height by 4  inches

Will He Be Shocked?  Can't you just see it on a Lucy Show?
I know I could go into some deep meaning here, but it really was just a good, tear-jerking laugh as we imagined what might be in the future for some innocent guy!  You truly don't know what you are getting these days....they know how to paint the "barn" better than when I captured my 
"Knight in Shining Armor", he could see what he was getting!!!

21 Joining in with more words:

Cindy - Letters From Midlife said...

LOL! This was so funny and gave me a good laugh to start my day. I captured my knight in shining armour honestly too. Except for the extra weight now, he pretty much got what he expected with no surprises!

Mom2three said...

This was TOO funny! Thanks for the laugh this early Saturday morning! I've heard my husband tell our 17 yr. old that all that stuff you see on TV - that's not real... I'll have to share this with my Honey.

Debbie said...

HAHAHA Is this true or what?? I laughed really hard at your "painting the barn" remark. I think it is sad when all the MUCH MUCH older gals go to such lengths to TRY to appear young and "with it" and look sooo ridiculous. How we try. Have you noticed how WHITE all of their teeth have become btw. My daughter's too....I wonder if there will be reprocussions from that eventually. But take a good look at all the young girls and women anymore. Their teeth glow, haha Have a wonderful week-end Janette. HUGS, Debbie

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Oh Debbie...I forgot the tooth whitening..I was going to add that too!
And I too can't get over the 40plus age wanting too look like they are 17!!!...I earned this curves!!!

Sassy Granny ... said...

OK, so why would ANYONE want one of those "bun" things? How on earth would they wear string panties? :)

It sure does seem that women of all ages want to look either older or younger, either endowed or skinny beyond reason. Feels terribly schizofrenic to me!

And WHERE IS Lucy when we need her?


Farm Girl said...

I remember as kids and my grandmother had Fredrick's of Hollywood catalogs and we would lay on our belly's and laugh and laugh. She has all of that stuff too. After she passed away you wouldn't have believed her clothes, leather mini dresses and stuff now I wish I had kept. :) She was a kick!

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Oh forgot about the "butt floss" as my friend calls those underwear...yea those would be hard to wear with fake buns. Instead you just have open buns!!!

Oh my...what a grandmother, now that is a different perspective

You know what, the Fredericks of Hollywood store was always next to the maternity shop in the malls....LOL

Anonymous said...

So funny!! When Hubby and I were first married he always said I never needed makeup - although being from Texas, of course I wore makeup! Fast forward decades he now jokes that "if the barn needs painting...."

Trisha said...

This is so, so funny! I'm so thankful for a husband who sees the real me and loves me anyway. Thanks for the big grin today.

Sandy said...

It's true, these days, isn't it?
A poor guy never knows what to
expect. I see a lot of those
glowing teeth around the city
here and the false eyelashes.
But what I see more than any
other thing you mentioned, at
least here where I live, is
the Botox faces. I love to shop
at TJ Maxx and Home Goods and
you can count on seeing at least
3-5 upper class women there who
have had too much Botox. The poor
things can't even budge a grin
and they look like their lips
are going to explode!

~Carrie from Cottage Cozy~ said...

~ so funny and sadly a little true! Oh well the life of us girls!

myletterstoemily said...

ha ha!!! how funny and so true!

when we (all seven of us) were
shopping with my oldest daughter
for her wedding gown, there were
some funny comments, but the
best by far came from her brother

"well, if you wear that dress, you
will be guilty of false advertising.
she did NOT think it was very

Stacy said...

Sad but true...how much attention we as a society pay to changing the outside and trying to look so "perfect." I think sometimes so much time, money and attention is put on the outside that men and women don't even slow down enough to focus on getting to know the inside. As mothers, may we teach our girls purity and teach our boys what purity looks like in a woman according to God's standard!

Such a funny post. I've never seen those bun things before! They look quite uncomfortable. Who wears those???

Thanks, Janette!!

Mary said...

This really is funny, and sadly so true!!! Thankfully I was a natural gal!!! Pretty much still am!! :)

It really does make me made that society is not okay with real!!!!

Sonja said...

This is really a hoot! I've seen some of this stuff too, but just keep walking!! Going into Victoria's Secret is getting to be a joke!

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

This was so funny. I loved reading all the other comments too, about even more things people are doing these days. I often forget to go out with even a little bit of make-up. Of course that's when I'll run into someone that asks "Are you tired?" Well, of course I am, I have 6 kids :-)
I am saddened by the things so people are doing. My answer has always been that instead of trying to make yourself look younger and then lying about your age, well, if you're going to lie anyway, "Lie up". Just say your ten years older than you are and people will thing you look great for your age! Lol...I'm not really advocating lying though :-)

Karen said...

Hi my name is Karen, I came across your blog via a friend of mine.. I have enjoyed browsing your blog and reading your post.. I will be back to visit again real soon..When you get a chance I hope you will stop by to visit me at http://glassofsweettea.blogspot.com/
God Bless..

Ps.. I so love those shoes on your post..
I could only wear them for about 10 minutes..but it would be worth it,lol

e-Mom said...

Funny Janette... I enjoy your sense of humor! Happy Labor Day.

e-Mom ღ

Diana said...

Great post, Janette!!!!

A multi-dimensional life said...

This was so cute! I'm still chuckling! Also true...sad but true! I can now see why it's called victoria's "secret"! LOL
I can't imagine anyone wanting to wear those bun bumps! Thanks for the laugh!

Beautiful pear tree lane said...

LOL Janette, This is to funny, Oh how i did enjoy this. You are to much! lol
Enjoy your Labor Day.

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