Welcome to my eclectic journey of my life and delights. This year my theme is surrendering my writing pen to the true author, Jesus Christ, while looking forward to the future, reflecting on the past and dancing through my journey.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Pre-Man Walks through My Halls

A "pre-man" walks through the halls of my house.  I have been through this journey three other times, I hope I am ready!  All the signs are there....he towers over me, masculine hair grows on his face, his feet enter the room before his body, odors once unfamiliar are a daily occurrence, our food budget has increased and  he has noticed girls and they have noticed him.  The voice has dropped and sounds like his brothers, leaving me guessing who it is when they call.  His hair has become a very big deal....oops, I cut the bangs too short. He will survive, even though he wants to know how to make his hair grow faster.

Such a precious time of growth for both him and I. This is the time I must step back and remember not to treat him like his four-year-old brother.  I have to give him some room.  I have to learn to respect his manhood.

I also must now relinquish some of the time I have had with him to his father.  Late night adventures or sports watching has become a regular event in our house with his Dad.  The four-year-old and I go to bed, they stay up for bonding time.

Past experience has taught me well...I hope...that this is also the time where he will assert his masculine headship.  He will have to learn to continue to obey and love his mom, while I remember that one day he will run a household.  I have to discern if his actions are rebellion or just stretching his wings.  My comment to my oldest was that every time he stretched his wings, I was the one who got knocked over...but we both survived.  I never want my sons to be so hen-pecked that that becomes their choice for a bride.  I want them to marry someone who is a helpmate and will walk with them.  Sometimes at this stage in parenting, the balance is hard to achieve.

I watch his passions, as I did the other boys.  For this one, it is computers and electronics instead of car engines and musical instruments.  He enjoys quiet time and too much stimulation wears him out.  He quietly bounces the basketball up and down the street.

I have read that they need time to think, so I am setting different priorities to make that time available.

This is also the season of the ROOM!!!  The first-born was good at keeping his clean until he returned from a month in Africa....the others...well, you could never see the floor.  Past brothers were known for placing caution signs across the door of their rooms.

Yes I have standards...but I have also learned to pick my battles.  His older brothers (who no longer live with us) keep their places clean and know how to clean...so I accomplished something, even if at times I doubted they would ever learn.

Again, I watch and enjoy my son turning into the Man God has called him to be...not just my idea, but what God wants.  Again, I grow teary-eyed that I can't pick him up and kiss away the wounds of the world.  Again...this mother has to step back and enjoy the process, by not holding on too tight.  I am slowly releasing my apron strings.

Proverbs 4 - "Hear, O sons, the instructions of a father......When I was a son in to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, Then he taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words, Keep my commandments and live...."

Sons...what a precious gift...what an awesome responsibility..............how much FUN!!!!

9 Joining in with more words:

Cindy (Letters From Midlife) said...

I've raised three daughters but am going through this boy thing for the first time with my youngest and only son. Everything you said is right where I am...having him grow taller than me, the facial hair, the smells, having him try out his male leadership tendencies even though he's learning that doesn't work on moms! lol

Barbie said...

I have an adult daughter (19) and a son who is 16 so I know all about the pre-manhood that is towering over me. And in a few years I will do it again as I also have a 9 year old daughter and a 6 year old son! What was I thinking? Blessings!

Debbie said...

Oh Janette I LOVE this post...You have captured the age soo well. Having already raised 3 boys I know that stage very very well, haha...It sounds like you are doing A GREAT JOB as it is just the right balance of letting them go, make thier own mistakes, and grow all the way up and then out...having 2 grown sons of your own I know you know the efforts are well worth it. I laughed when you wrote the part about picking your battles and their rooms NEVER be organized and clean. I finally just threw in that towel too. And yet everyone of them now cooks and cleans REALLY well and their wives have thanked me for it. So something somewhere MUST have sunk in...Have a wonderful day..HUGS

Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

Dearest Janette,
The Lord sent me to your profile a while back for good reason - I need your spot on posts to help remind me (or teach me) about so much that is important. I LOVE this post and am so grateful for all you share as you "dance through the rain here"! Your young men are so blessed to have such a special Mom.
Blessings and (((hugs)))

AllyJo said...

I have a 14 year old son, soon to be 15. Your post was moving. God bless you and your family.

Sewn With Grace said...

I have my son home for a week between the end of college and the beginning of two months in another state, far from home, playing baseball. I want to hold him, and smell his hair, and take him out to play and then I remember that he's not that same little boy and that I have to learn to listen and not talk so much and just let him be him. It all goes by in warp speed. I remember those days you spoke of. Enjoy him!

Hen Jen said...

lovely, it's all a journey, huh.

I love the photo at the top, with the wings..a picture of becoming.

Sonja said...

my mom used to say the same thing... let the little stuff go, there are enough big things to deal with! I didn't always remember that, but it sounds like you've got that one covereed! How very fast these years go by... and I still feel like I'm just getting going in some ways.... talk about a late bloommer! :)

www.brendayoder.blogspot.com said...

Jannette - Thanks so much for visiting my blogs! I love your blog, it's similar to what is on my heart, women just journeying together. I like this post about your son. I have had several comments - often! Blessings to you as you walk with each of your children. I look forward to reading more!

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