Welcome to my eclectic journey of my life and delights. This year my theme is surrendering my writing pen to the true author, Jesus Christ, while looking forward to the future, reflecting on the past and dancing through my journey.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Love and War

The air is full of love as wedding invitations fill our mailbox. Invitations from our children's friends' weddings, along with celebrating major anniversaries with our friends fill the coming months.  In June, we will celebrate our 30th year of marriage.

As our Anniversary approaches,  I watched John and Stasi Eldredge on Life Today  talk about their 25 years of marriage and their new book  Love and War - Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed Of.  Although their conversation knocked on my heart, I wasn't sure that their book would be any different than the countless marriage conferences and books I had read throughout the years.

Words are so inadequate to describe all the Lord is doing in my heart through this very open view of realistic Christian marriage.  John and Stasi just open their hearts to reveal the side of marriage so many of us keep quiet or don't want to admit.

What encouragement and healing is coming through this book.  I am sure it isn't an appropriate book for newlyweds...they would run with horror. But for seasoned marriage couples, it is a drink of cold water.  What newlyweds would hear..."this is going to be the hardest work you will ever do."

John Eldredge reminds us of our enemy who roams around, seeing whom he can devour, and therefore, never stops the fight to destroy our union. (I Peter 5:8)  Eldridge also reminds us that we are not each others enemy, but we are to focus on the source of marital strife.

The book is co-written with his wife, so they go back and forth from the man's to the woman's point of view.  They also draw examples from books and movies, which will impact the reader with visuals or past reading experiences.

Here are just a few of the sentences I highlighted in this multi-endorsed marriage book...

If you cannot admit the disappointment of your marriage, you have made an idol of it.

God knows who you are going to marry.  When you do marry the person, your spouse becomes the one person you were suppose to marry.  

The best husband/wife for you is the husband/wife you have.

Marriage is the rushing stream God uses to shape us into more loving people.

Christian couples feel added pressure....We feel the pressure to be "Christlike" in our marriage - and since none of us are even close to that level of sainthood, we feel a lot of guilt and shame.

I look forward to seeing the new unions this summer and  the refreshing of vows for those of us on this continued journey of marriage.  I am also glad I didn't just step back and say, "hey, I know what we are doing, we are a seasoned married couple", but took the time to allow more work to be done in the most important union I have on this earth. What a precious gift to give my husband this year on our anniversary, a wife that is allowing God to renew her in many areas, and looking only to the Lord for her security.

8 Joining in with more words:

Debbie said...

First of all, congratulations on 30 years of marriage. You've got us beat by five years!

I heard about this book and even signed up to do a review of it. However, I too wondered if it would be anything different. The one marriage book that helped me the most was Love and Respect by Dr. Eggerich. It changed our I interacted with my husband and actually made a difference.

I look forward to reading this one, especially after your thoughts which I value.

Hugs to you,

Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

Oh Janette, how wonderful! Congratulations on your anniversary!!! I appreciate the review and will check it out. I'm blessed with the perfect husband for me - but that doesn't mean it's easy! He's my opposite in so many ways... Mostly, that makes for lots of laughs and that's an important part of what keeps us close.

Ginger said...

I have awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award! Head on over to SSB and check it out!



alicia said...

Sounds like a book that I might just need to find, as the stress in my life is starting to take it's toll on my marriage now. Thanks for being such a great example.

Debi said...

Oooo ... you've got my curiosity up ... I'm gona check out that book. I love their others.

Happy Anniversary!!! Beautiful post - so true.

We are clipping along the same topics again - this is getting funny. I'm working on our 30th anniversary post :) {it was Monday} and our son's 3rd anniversary is today.

Love IS in the air and *war* is always lurking, huh? But, "where sin abounds - grace does much more abound!" :)

e-Mom said...

Congratulations on 30 years! You did indeed beat the odds. (Married at 19!) Well done, thou good and faithful servant.

I've enjoyed the Eldredge's books, but I have to say, they've experienced a level of conflict we do not know. (Our difficulties have come during life's crises... a death, a business loss etc.)

God does use our marriage to make us more into the image of Himself, if we let Him. However, I do think that God intends for us to be happy too, not just holy. :~D

Bless you! I'm enjoying your blog. :~D

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

E-mom...totally agree with you. Our marriage suffered the stress from total financial collapse, which resulted in the loss of our home, 28 years into marriage. Financial stress was harder then all the trials before...which were pretty big, but those trials seem to draw us together, whereas the financial started to bring a wedge.
Thanks for your input...enjoying your blog....your book list looks like my bookshelves,

WesternWoodburner said...

I have never read the book you are referring to, so I have no idea if it is appropriate for newlyweds, but I think young folks ought to hear BEFORE they marry that when they marry it “is going to be the hardest work you will ever do.” When a person marries, they vow to love, and loving can be really hard sometimes. I like some of the quotes you shared.

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