Welcome to my eclectic journey of my life and delights. This year my theme is surrendering my writing pen to the true author, Jesus Christ, while looking forward to the future, reflecting on the past and dancing through my journey.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Unmade Bed

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We live in such a time of unrealistic expectations.  Women are bombarded with "how-to" books giving instructions in perfect parenting technics, while maintaining an unrealistic "in-shape-photo-shop"model body in order to greet guests to her "magazine-cover-decorated home" and still fulfill all the duties of wife and mother with a smile on her face, while usually advancing a full-time career.  The world can really hand us all Pinterest, blogging ideas that are beyond human ability, and yet, we seem to easily take these unrealistic thoughts on life and try our hardest to bring them about.

Somewhere in our journey we realize that what we thought was realistic was only a dream, forcing us to wake up and walk in wonderful reality. Stopping the "rat race" can be freeing.
Pinterest image
I am entering a "reality" summer with my boys, the first of which I am going to have "Don't Make the Bed" weeks. This may make you laugh...but for this "make your bed when you get up" mom, this will be relaxing my idea of running a half-straightened home. No, I am not a neat, control freak...far from it...I have a household of boys and to keep my sanity and health, I tossed that false standard out the window years ago. Now if I had of had a maid along the way, I might have kept higher standards...but those standards would have killed this "solo" mom years ago.  That said, my standard lowering isn't saying much.

My bed, however, has been one area I have kept up a standard.  You do not sit on my bed.  You do not use my accent pillows to sleep on at night, they are removed and put away.  You NEVER use the comforter to sleep under...it is folded at the end of the bed each night...not for use other than decoration.  You make the bed each morning..except Sunday, in which it is a reminder to relax.  My bedding lasts for a decade due to this care.  Yes, that means I don't change my bedroom except once every ten years...good thing, because the budget has never had the luxury of doing it more often.

This week I looked at the bed and said..."so what!"  Who sees my bedroom anyway?  Rarely, I mean, rarely does anyone enter my room, and I am usually warned when someone is coming over.  I no longer have just small children around, which is when I started this standard, because at the end of a day when I thought I hadn't accomplished anything, I saw that I had at least made my bed.

Benjamin and I enjoyed crawling up into the bed during the week with our adventure books.  The pillows around our heads allowed us to float into our imagination.  The cool sheets took the sting out of the summer heat of the day...we slowed down.  Summers with little boys crawling up on my King Size bed for reading time is just too short.  Time to just leave the bed unmade!!

Note to self....time to buy new sleeping pillows...these old ones have lost their fluff.

What are you doing this summer that reminds you to be realistic and enjoy?
I am sure most of you threw out the 'unrealistic' years ago, but it is still easy to find oneself there again with all of our mass media.  I hope you are welcoming wonderful reality.

27 Joining in with more words:

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Oh, this is a good one, Janette. Really going to ponder this one over the course of the day... I love that. That you give me things to think about. Thank you so very much. I'm glad you are enjoying your "relaxed" summer and focusing on the real, the important, the things that matter most. blessings ~ tanna

Pom Pom said...

Hi Janette! You inspired me to go to the farmers market in your last post! The fruit and flowers were wonderful!
Yes, for heaven's sake, don't worry about making the bed. I do like to crawl in to a tight and tucked in bed, but I like a messy bed, too.
I like the ideas on Pinterest but I refuse to turn them into an expectation. I find that my own standards work for the people who buzz around this house, so "whew!" I can move on to having fun. You have a great attitude, good mama!
It's hot here in Denver, so any running around must be done this morning. Off I go! Have a great weekend, friend!

Maryann said...

I am all for unmade beds if it means snuggling up with a little one reading. Summer for us means meals are much more relaxed. Timing could be as early as six or as late as as eight...depending on what we may be doing outside. Meals not fussy, and we tend to eat wherever, could be outside, could be on trays in the living room...we wing it alot in the summer...but then there is only two of us. Now when grandkids are here its table time with schedules etc...even in the summer

Debbie said...

I too always made my bed every day. However, I have to admit the bed hasn't been made lately unless someone is stopping by. And frankly, that's not been happening much lately. Living in a very small place doesn't leave too many areas to be in. And our bed ends up being the place we watch TV and talk. I still have my very nice bedspread with special pillows but I haven't seen it much lately.

Enjoy the summer!


Lemon Lane Cottage said...

Great post. As wonderful as blogs are, sometimes they can be just one more way that we women are not measuring up to an unrealistic standard. When my husband and I have the house to ourselves (our nest has been empty and then full more than once) it is pretty easy to keep things blog ready but on most days with kids in the house it is a picture cropping kind of day! This summer (and beyond) I am truly making Sunday a day of rest...

Marla and Steve said...

You are speaking to my heart. These days I couldn't give a care about keeping up anything in my house that doesn't need to be done. Laundry loads stay on the bedroom floor, toothpaste on the sink, the family room a mess. You get it. I'm just doing what I can, when I can and trying to ignore the rest. I pulled "a few" weeds in the yard a few days ago and felt a sense of accomplishment. This is my summer of taking care of me.

Farm Girl said...

Wow, I never thought much about the bed in my room, I have always flopped on it and the kids all come and get on it and still talk. When they were sick I always kept them in it, because you know, Mom's bed is best. :)
Well, I have to say, I still haven't got to the fun part. I am still trying to find that place. I will keep looking though. :)

myletterstoemily said...

ha! i'm doing the exact oppostie by
making my bed every morning! now
you know how messy i usually am!

Vee said...

Hope it keeps working for ya! =D

Thoughts for the day said...

Your bed rules sound like mine, we don't sit on or lay on the comforter, the 'nice pillows' are taken off, it has always been that way. In fact I even have mattress covers on it and wash all bedding monthly, sheets weekly or more. (I do stuff the queen sized comforter in my washer) I enjoy a made bed it makes me feel I have at least accomplished something. My summer plan is to 'declutter the spare bedroom'. It is currently a HUGE mess.

Sandy said...

My sweet mother taught me that if you make your bed as soon as you get up and clear the table and do your dishes after every meal, your house will always look fairly clean. I have stuck to her rule all of my life except when my boys were small. We also did the climb into mommy and daddy's big bed and cuddle and I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

Anonymous said...

I was taught to make my bed - clean-up after myself etc and I taught my children the same things but it is clearly important to have down days to just do nothing. And climb into mommy and daddy's big bed and cuddle - wished I had done more of it... and I wouldn't trade that time for anything..but I feel ready to meet the day when my house is in order..that's me!
Hugs..for a week of no bed making - wink!

Sonja said...

As of right now, 1:40 in the afternoon, no thoughts of going upstairs to make the bed! No one but us will see it today, so it stays unmade!

Why on earth did I used to think that everything needed to be cleaned and spiffy. I've sure lost that desire. I love a clean house, but the grind of getting it there is WAY less than it used to be.

Older is better in a lot of ways!


LOVE this.

Theresa said...

Sounds great! On Sundays my children don't have to make their bed either. I make mine and try to resist the urge to make theirs too- LOL!

Sue said...

First thing, I would loved to have enjoyed reading a great book with you and Benjamin. I used to be such a stickler for a made bed, but when the kids came along, they loved hopping in bed with us even now when they come home they will come and just plop down!
Even with no one but dh and I, I am so relaxed during the summer, might be that we are so busy, one thing for sure with all these machines running now I definitely have been relaxed!lol

I am enjoying reading of how you are scooping into your sand pail! I can tell by the end of the summer you are going to have a pail full of wonderful memories. Enjoy! Enjoy!

Joluise said...

My son never makes his bed (he is 19), my husband thinks he should - so we have a battle in the house over bedmaking. If our son doesn't make his bed and goes out, my husband makes it for him. I have no plans to get involved in this dispute as I think it is crazy!!

I personnaly I like beds to be made, but if my son doesn't make his bed I just shut his door!! But our bed is made everyday as it makes the room far more inviting and neat and I am not one for mess!! And I can't stand getting into an unmade bed at night - horrible thought.

Debbie said...

I am taking a small break from our many chores of getting things ready for the funeral and getting things ready for my mom to move in...soo much to do. I decided to visit a couple of my favorite blogs for a brief escape. I loved this. Reading together on the bed is something I did with all of my kids as they were growing up. I miss it....Enjoy your time with Benjamin, they grow so fast. As for these days. I make my bed pretty much everyday just as I get out of it. Hubby is always in the shower first, haha. A habit I had years ago and keep up more because I don't like getting into an unmade bed though. When I was a young mama with my kids at home my bed never really had anything special or nice on it. Didn't start doing that till the kids were all gone. So it was often the spot they would come to talk. Especially Mel. Don't know if I could count up all those conversations we had laying on my bed. Your summer sounds so good to me! HUGS

Christine said...

Memories, yes, memories!
Sand pail full of them.
Benjamin will remember, The Summer of Unmade Beds (and so much more)!

Sue Anne McKinney said...

I USED to make my bed all the time. Not so much anymore. I probably have more time to do it, but just get busy w/ my yard or a book or a grandchild or something!!! I do like my house 'picked up'...but you are right, WHO really goes into your bedroom. I'll have to send you a picture of how my bed looked recently after Annie came over for a few days. It was during her "rest time". :) Maybe I will blog about it!

podso said...

Well said. It IS easy to be tempted by the things we see on the internet or even at friends' houses. I really love it when I see those who don't update every five years but keep in their homes the things they really love and are true to themselves, not current trends. I would have a hard time not making the bed, I am so visual as far as my peace of mind, but I do like it when I leave the house messier than usual! Good post!

camp and cottage living said...

This is something I have to ponder on. I can't not make the bed, as it's not tucked away upstairs, it's right before my eyes. and it gives me joy to pass it and see it all done up pretty. However, I'm sure there is something I can let go of and make life more enjoyable.
As I sais, I need to ponder on this one!!

Sally said...

I'm a morning bed maker. I can leave it, generally if I'm intending to change the sheets. I get this tendency from my mother :)

Logan has been at UT for the first summer session. We bring him home next week. I don't believe we'll get him home any other summer, I'm going to have to enjoy these next weeks to the fullest!

Debbie said...

I was raised by a Janette. It's official. My mom didn't allow sitting on the bedcovers, and I still remove it all at bedtime and pile it in a little stack in the corner of the room. Like you, mine lasts way beyond it's stylishness.

But I love your idea of letting the truly unnecessary go for a while and just enjoying life.

In response, I shall not shower for a week.

Just kidding, and I do agree with this post. For me, it's a summer of actually ENJOYING summer. It gets so hot here that too often, it's my season to hibernate and pout. That's the bad summer habit that I'm trying to break this year.

Rebecca said...

:) I was here. True it is! We ARE bombarded by unrealistic expectations. It is good to let go of them and wake up and walk in "wonderful reality" as you call it!

Susan (My Place to Yours) said...

Well, the little ones left this morning, and I'm taking a minute to visit before getting started on the catching-up I have to do. I, too, was raised by a Janette -- and I'm one myself. I usually make the bed the minute my feet hit the ground. I love walking in the room and seeing ONE thing that's "as it should be" when the rest of my world has felt cluttered. I think it's great, though, that you're relaxing the rules on occasion. We all need to allow ourselves a break from "perfection!"

Cecilia Marie Pulliam said...

Ah, Janette, you really hit it square with the bed. I too am fanatical about making the bed. Mine however, has a deeper meaning, stemming from some very bad experiences in which an unmade bed played a part. It is time to let go of that anxious obsession and just enjoy life more. I love this post, and will never look at my made or unmade bed in the same way. Bless you!

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