Welcome to my eclectic journey of my life and delights. This year my theme is surrendering my writing pen to the true author, Jesus Christ, while looking forward to the future, reflecting on the past and dancing through my journey.




Thursday, November 18, 2010

I QUIT!!!



google.com
I quit...that is it, I am finished!!!!  I am no longer going to be a MOM!!

 The confrontation had my stomach in knots and tears running down my eyes.  The words "It is just too hard"...running through my mind over and over again.  The cost is too high and I can't pay it.  Doesn't anyone know I am tired....emotionally tired?

So is the path at times of parenting.  There are days of complete overwhelming joy!  Days that the excitement of being a parent is going to cause your heart to bust from joy!  Then there are those days that you question why you ever had kids.  As Bill Cosby has said, "Now I know why some animals eat their young or I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

We have walked through many trials with our six children.  Days that I knew I could not in my own strength continue on this parenting journey.  I WAS RIGHT, I COULDN'T PARENT IN MY OWN STRENGTH.  That is when I would lay it all down and God would come and pick me up, strength my hands and knees that were weak, and together we would forge forward.

He knows what it is like to be a parent.  His children began rebelling in the Garden of Eden and He has seen the agony of it ever since.  His son paid the price for our sin of rebellion.

This latest trial has come to an end...the fruit, only time will tell.  God was there through every step. He had prepared my heart for weeks through prayer and the word.  He knew what was coming and what he wanted accomplished.  The child will answer to God on the decisions and we will have to step back praying that the truth that we have planted in this child will come to blossom.

Making a decision to have a child is momentous. 
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking
outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

If you have never been hated by your child
you have never been a parent. - Bette Davis

When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store
directly in your tear ducts. - Rober Brault

Psalm 127:3-5 ESv

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.


Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV 

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.




My four-year-old wakes me up with a smile and a kiss.  I pull myself out of bed and thank God I am a mother...resting in the assurance that anything that comes across my path He will provide the strength.  He will forgive me of my sins and He will complete the work He has began.

31 Joining in with more words:

Karen said...

First, I love the picture you chose to go with your post. Ah yes, if only we could gleefully toss aside our responsibilites and worries.

I absolutely could relate to your post. And, amen to your statement that we can NOT parent in our own strength. Being a mother has taught me exactly how much I need God in my every day.

Sandy said...

This is so wonderful and precious,
Janette. You speak every mother's
heart. It's hard to be a mom as
our very hearts are laid on the line
for our children. The Elizabeth Stone
quote is one I've loved for a long
time because it's the absolute truth.
And I so remember the episode of
Cosby where he said that line! In
fact, that whole program was great
in talking about parenthood. It's
hard!! And we surely can't do it in
our puny human strength--it takes
God! Then there's the reward, your
precious little one coming with a
smile and kiss to start his mommy's
day again.

Ginny Marie said...

I am sure that my own parents thought the exact same thing during those times when I completely exhausted them. I know my mom worried and hoped that I would make the right choices, and she fervently prayed for all her children. Now you have me thinking about my own faithful mother, and the tears are falling...I know that wasn't the intention of your post! Next week will mark the first anniversary of her journey to her final Home. I didn't mean to write such an emotional comment...just wanted to tell you that I agree...I need the strength of God behind my parenting as well!

Debbie said...

Oh Janette can I EVER relate to this post. How many times have I felt this way? A thankless job it seemed MANY MANY times. I can remember at one time or another looking at everyone of my boys and thinking, "Who are you? and WHAT have you done with my son?" Oh the choices and decisions they made...the tears I shed, the screaming that came out of my mouth, the slaming of the doors, the hours spent on my knees...and yet you know what? Eventually everyone of them came back to their roots...to what we had taught them from the beginning. Pro. 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it, proved to be sooo true. And how could it not be? I recently heard my son who is the minister, give a part of his own testimony during the service he was teaching and I cringed as he told of his year of heavy rebellion. How I'd love to forget all that...and yet, how God used that to mold him into the man he is today. Standing in front of thousands and teaching God's word. He also mentioned though during that service the role his parents played and his gratitude to them. Tears rolled down by cheeks I will admit. They learn and remember WAY more than you think. You are an awesome mom Janette. It is all over your blog and everything you write. Your kids are very blessed to have you. Have a wonderful day. HUGS

Sonja said...

yes... the raising of our children, the journey no one can really quite prepare us for. It is ours to travel, as it will be for our kids when it's their turn.
The thing I always know is that God uses these children to teach their parents about Himself!! And in the process... our kids are learning too.

Precious post Janette... "I QUIT" is a phrase every parent has felt, and probably more than once or twice!! :)

Theresa said...

Amen. Keep fighting the good fight sweet friend! I love when you share your wisdom as a mom here.

Farm Girl said...

I am so sorry you are having a trial but you are honest and I love your honesty. I have had days, weeks and years when I have thought the same thing. But think of the book that God is writing in your heart. Someday you will turn this page and go on to a new chapter and you will be so thankful you kept on reading.
God gave you your 4 year old just to get you through. My grandson said last night to my daughter, "I miss my Grama." No matter how I am feeling at the moment, those words will get me though.
I will be praying for you and thank you so much for sharing. I wish I could just hop on over and give you a giant hug.
O so there is one from me to you.
Dear Janette, think of the crown you will be able to lay at our Master's feet. :)
Blessings my dear girl.

Paula said...

You know this post spoke straight to my heart. I am so thankful for sisters like you who can sharpen me. I could do nothing without God's help. So glad that God has seen you through another trial, though we both know there are plenty more ahead. I will find peace and comfort in knowing Who leads the way. Love you!

Karen said...

learning to lay it down ~~~ easier said than done! You just desire the Lord's will and sometimes they don't see that because of age. Thanks for sharing your wisdom & sweet comments today! Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Marla @ Always Nesting said...

Oh honey, honey! Meeeee tooooo!!

Most days I adore my kids but some days I just want to run and hide because it can be JUST TOO MUCH!

It's so therapeutic to write and get all that angst out of your system. There's always tomorrow and God is good.

Remember, you are not alone.

Big, big hugs, Marla

Amy said...

Me too! Thank you for sharing your heart. We just can't do this amazing job with laying it down at God's feet. I pray that whatever trial you have been going through that God will continue to walk you all through it and that your child will feel His presence and love.

Carol said...

Janette,
Your post is full of love, truth and wisdom!
Seeking the Lord, soaking in prayer and His Word, is so important and necessary, as you have said!
I know some of what you are feeling, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

JillAileenJones said...

Mothering is not for wimps that is for sure. There has been many a day I have thought, surely God made a mistake thinking I could all this for 4 children, doesn't He know that I am messing this all up-what am I doing to them, they would be so much better off with someone else?! Then I remember God doesn't make mistakes(He may really have a great sense of humor and get a daily chuckle out of me) But He knew every mistake I would make, every thing I would do wrong and sometimes right and He knew that my kids needed me-to be there mom no one else and that just blows my mind!
I can't imagine from your posts you not being anything that a super mom! But even the times we are not God uses those times to mold both them and us into the people we are or are to become for Him and His glory.
So glad we don't do it alone-it is hard, really hard, and I don't remember my mama saying there would be days like this! (sigh) I don't remember her fretting over if she should take us to the Dr or where the money was coming from for the Dentist or even for the next dinner-I know as I got older I realized how much my parents sacrificed for us-to give us not only what we needed but wanted and how much they must have worried about us, but we never knew it.
I think the hardest part of being a mom is that I don't want my kids to suffer-to hurt-to not fit in-to make bad choices-etc and yet we know we can't stop any of that and it hurts us (EVEN MORE I THINK) than them when things happen to them.
Being a mom has shown me more than once just how much grace and mercy God has for me every day-and that my kids are a precious loan from Him-that I need to remember at any day He could decided that He wants them home with Him-I am trying to be thankful for each day I get to be called their mom and that I am truly thankful for the privilege. Some days that it so easy and some or so hard.
Praying that you have a wonderful week.
Praying you are encouraged by someone today-thank you for all the times that you have been to me through you kind words.
Remembering today the scripture for both of us about some day our children will rise up and call us blessed.
HUGS
Jill

Sydney said...

I have to admit that I feel overwhelmingly blessed with the children God has blessed me with.

I worked for about 11 of my 13 yr. old daughter's life.
I would cry out to the Lord in prayer asking Him to allow me to be home with my daughter. I felt that I was missing so much of her life.

Now, the Lord has blessed me to be able to be a stay-at-home mom with my 2 girls. I am thankful that He answered the petition of my heart. I ask Him daily to give me the wisdom to train my children in HIS ways.

Shalom dear!

LisaShaw said...

Janette,

A post we can all relate to in the raising of our dear children. Mine are grown now but I remember... as the last one is leaving the nest for college.

I'm thankful that the lessons we learn as we parent we can pass to them for their season of parenting. I'm also thankful that the LORD has His Hand with all of us!!!

Said a prayer for you and your family.

Blessings and hugs!

Deborah Ann said...

Bette Davis...Lol. Oh yes, I've had days like that. But right around the corner comes a blessing from one child or another, that redeems us poor, tired mothers. God is so good...

Sue said...

Janette,
What a wonderful heartfelt post you have written, and Oh did I so relate, even now with ours out of the nest, there are times when I feel the same way.
I once read this..... that when your children are young they step on your feet, but when they are older they step on your heart.

If ever you ask yourself why you are blogging just go back and read some of the comments such as I read today, you have a gift for writing and ministering to other women. I know you are such a blessing to me.

I went and read your last post on the renovation of your table, at first when I read that you were going to paint that beautiful honey oak table I closed my eyes, but when I peeked, I opened wide my eyes and thought how beautiful, and I gave it a hearty thumbs up!. lol Great job!

I thought of that beautiful young man that gives his mother sweet hugs and kisses today and went and tried to take some pictures of Jenny the baby donkey, but his mother wouldn't let me get good shots, I haven't downloaded them yet, so we will see. I wonder if she ever wants to throw up her feet and quit, like we do, just wait until Jenny gets older. lol.
Again I always leave here most blessed.
Hugs,
Sue

Lea said...

Can I just tell you that this post spoke to my heart this evening. We are facing a most difficult situation as parents right now and it is so hard to just lay it at the feet of Jesus and let Him do His mighty work, but we're slowly getting there. Yes, I could scream "I Quit" right along with you on many a day. Hugs to you!

Let'sMakeADifference said...

PERFECTION!! Can we meet for coffee tomorrow??? :) What a great post! It blessed me tremendously!

Anonymous said...

My daughter is 31 and my son is 38
I have a sil and a dil and grandbabies

Pamela
NE Ohio

BARBIE said...

I think I've wanted to give up many times. Motherhood is challenging, and even more so while I work a full time job. But yet I know that God gives grace and strength to those who lean on Him. Thank you for the reminder that I cannot do this alone!

Stacy said...

AMEN Janette! Parenting is so hard, but we have to claim the truth's of God's Word, hold on tightly to him, but loosely to our children knowing they are His. And He loves them more than we do. Hard to fathom some days, but in Him our hope rests.

You speak truth. You speak wisdom and you speak reality. Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring post.

So thankful that our hearts and lives have connected here in blogland and by the bonds of Jesus Christ.

Much love,
Stacy

Stay strong in Him sweet friend.

The Not So Perfect Housewife said...

Beautiful post.
I've tried quitting a few times.. lol. But God is always faithful and reminds me of the same thing.. it's not through myself I get it done.. but through Christ.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Rebecca said...

Didn't someone write a book titled "Where Does a Parent Go to Resign" (or something like that)?

Reading between the lines, I read "struggle". God isn't finished with your child yet! You may revisit this frustration again, but you're a little more practiced now in releasing it to the Heavenly Father and trusting Him with the outcome....

How gracious of Him to give you your 4 year old (complete with a smile and a kiss) for such a time as this!

Crown of Beauty said...

I know how this feels...what you're talking about.

There are good days, and bad days, and very many in between days.

When my children were younger, I recall a day when I locked myself in my room and refused to come out for hours - and as the three of them were knocking on the door, I called out, "I'm not your mother, go get another one!"

Praying with you dear Janette...

Love
Lidj

Crown of Beauty said...

P.S.
The quotes you shared with us at the end were precious, dear Janette.

Thank you for the honesty with which you shared your heart.

Love
Lidj

AwaydownSouth said...

Though I am not a parent, I know how rough it can be. May God give grace and be glorified.

myletterstoemily said...

wow, look what a chord you struck here!
yes, we have all been there, that place
where we can't cry anymore and don't
have the strength to parent.

BUT, then He refreshes and renews us,
and YES we can, through His strength.

love,
lea

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

You're so right. We couldn't do it without the Lord. We quote Bill Cosby around here alot too ;-)
Blessings,
Marcia

e-Mom said...

I will never know what's it's like to rear 6 children... so I feel reluctant to comment. I have tremendous respect for you and your DH. :~D

There were many days before our empty nest when I.was.utterly.exhausted. But honestly, I never felt like completely quitting. At this end of things, I wish we'd had one more!

I pray your son(?) blooms and blossoms under your strong care and prayers. Thank goodness the crisis--whatever it was--has passed!

(((Hugs))) e-Mom

Jo said...

If only someone had told me how hard it was being a mum. It is certainly hard work and at times feels very thankless. But even if I was told, it would not have really prepared me.

Thankyou for sharing.

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