I was caught in my tracks, yes totally blindsided with convictions, as my mind had to choose between the right and the wrong way to handle the situation. I heard the words, "My WAY or the Highway!" yelled in my head...the choice was mine. "MY WAY"...wow!, that alone should be a clue of the arrogance in my own self-worth.
Our dryer bit-the-bullet. Now why it decided to leave the family without proper provision for drying our clothes, after I had just given it a face lift (painted my dryer on my laundry re-do) I will never know. Didn't it know what a pain it would be to not have its services and how removing my art work would mess up my decor?
So began our journey of "no dryer". As my husband debated on if to fix or buy a used one...well he is more the Tim Allen type so buying a used one would be safer....he generously offered to take the clothes, after I had washed them, to the laundry mat, a couple of loads at a time. Now in our household I am the house manager, even decades ago, with four children under age 7, home schooling and running my own business, I still remained the home manger doing all chores that pertained to the home and yard. So it is a huge deal when my working husband offers to take on any of the list of chores. I didn't even think twice about not taking him up on the offer....the sacrifice would be...he would be doing it his way. His way is inexperienced and how he remembers his mom folded clothes....not how his wife has done laundry for 32 years, but a servant heart should not be discouraged.
As the baskets returned I had some choices to make
- I could re-fold all the clothes to my liking...which meant extra work and voiced - "your way is not right"...now lets be honest, there isn't a "right" way and a "wrong" way of folding clothes, if the mission is complete than the method is right
- I could reminded him that the way he is doing it is not my way, therefore discouraging his efforts, leaving him with the choice of getting mad or just not doing it
- I could rejoice in the fact that I am not the one going down to the laundry mat...that folded clothes are better than unfolded wrinkled clothes...and this too would pass and I would be back at the task of laundry, by myself, when the dryer issue was resolved
How many times have I discouraged my own children or husband by mentioning how they did it "wasn't right"? That could have been verbally, or through my actions of re-doing their efforts, or even expressions of discontent. As Benjamin learns to make his bed I remember my policy with my other children...let them learn at their skill level and don't re-do what they have done. He so proudly makes his bed each morning...his skill level will improve and "his way is right"....mission accomplished, bed made.
May we encourage the "servant heart" in our families and stop looking to see if they did it "our way". Who wants to help a "know it all...that can't be pleased"person..that produces you standing there without a helping hand, ALONE to do it "your way".
Yes, I would put this post under "reality check"....there are more to come....seems I am in the shop for a tune-up.