This week my Bravo moment literally left me trying to grasp for words....which if you knew me, is usually a hard thing to accomplish.
Backing up first. Our church has set the first three weeks of January as a time to fast and seek God's face. The focus this year is Awaken. Now I haven't found my word this year, mainly because it is a couple of words which tie together. Awakening the Heart is part of our teaching, which happens to also be the words I hear the Lord speaking to me. The first week of the fast I mainly focused on time with the Lord, and not as much on an actually struggling to fast.
With each time I allotted to go before the Lord He spoke. It was very loud and clear. Very convicting, as He showed the sin He wanted to deal with during this season. My journal started to fill as I wrote, listened and read the Word, while the stirring in my heart continued. The heaviness of my sin was felt physically and emotionally. God was working. He wanted to renew, restore, and awaken my heart.
God even used songs to bring me to His throne. He also wrapped His loving arms around me in patience. He gave me hope.
The scripture says His kindness leads us to repentance, it became my battle cry, as He gentle uncovered the sin.
This isn't always a fun process, as He reminds us in scripture, but it is a process that is needed for Him to reveal Himself through us. If we are a child of the King, then discipline will come and we never out grow His disciple.
As I allowed the potter to spin the wheel, place the pressure, while molding me, I saw yielding to His process brought peace and healing to my heart.
Then the unscheduled visit came. A delivery to me that I could never have dreamed. The vessel delivering the gift was a hand of God. One who was being obedient. I stood without words.
All I could think was "you are not worthy", "you haven't done anything to desire this"
" your heart has been wicked and bitter and harsh" and "why would anyone think to do this for me?"
Receiving isn't always easy. I want to be the giver, not the receiver, and yet here I stood being handed a gift. Something I had dreamed about having one day. Something that was above and beyond the need.
I will not share the giver of the gift because he is a silent man with waters that are deep. He is never obedient for show or applause. His treasures are in heaven, where rust and moth can't get to them. He is married to a God loving wife, who follows his lead. Their generosity is an united obedience.
This next week I will ride around in a "new to me car". A lady's car. Not a huge SUV, which can hold half the neighborhood, like was needed for decades. Not a car that is in need of multiple repairs, yet has served me very well, for years and 200K plus miles. Instead it will be a car that is beyond just a fulfilled need.
Our Father delights in giving His children good gifts. These gifts come in many forms. I believe most of those gifts aren't material gifts, this week just happened to be a material gift.
So if you pass a woman in a Silver Lincoln, with her sun roof open, revealing the skies above, and from that vehicle you hear a "joyful noise". You will know it is me............and I found my words. Words of Praise and Worship to the God who does above all we could think or imagine.