Most Horrible Mom Award!

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I am sure I am not the only one who has received the "most horrible mommy award" from the Liar of Lies.

This week I received it with pounds of condemnation, which pushed down any sight of having done anything right in my 28 years of parenting.  The attack came so strongly I wanted to turn my "mommy" title in for a refund.

As a young mother, I had all those wonderful dreams for my children that we all dream.  They could become President of the United States or the next Billy Graham.  I would invest in anything that I felt would propel them forward...curriculum, music lessons, sports, summer camps, missions trips....you name it.

This week, all those sacrifices seemed to have no value as I put on the "Worst Mommy" cape and walked in tears.  The glasses of doubt and disappointment were shading my view.

It started because, once again, I couldn't be at my daughter-in-law's surgery, two hundred miles away.  Our son would, once again, wait as the skillful doctors took his wife away for another procedure to help their infertility issues.  Her mother had made the trip to the city and others of her family would also arrive, so my son wouldn't be alone.  I could only pray from my home, four hours away, while attending to my two younger sons.


The attack began and the fight was on. The enemy ran me through dusty trails of regret and condemnation.   I would take a blow from the enemy, and then I would give one back. Like the children's toy punching bag, we went back and forth.

I started to run up this hill that was challenging me, both physically and spiritually

I decided to run...well, in my case that means fast walk, jog and fast walk again.  I headed out the door while the humid air announced the approaching storm.

God sent His reassurance through His creation, through His written words and the songs blasting into my heart and spirit from my ear buds.

Here is the walk/jog...the words...the fight........the results!!!  "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are  in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1
Here is how God wrapped this "worst mommy" up in His arms, with these sights, sounds and words.  Now the words came from funny sources, but God once used a donkey in His Word, so he can use songs.

The gravel beneath my feet

As I cried out for the surgery and baby-to-be while along the trails, these words were sung:
You waved your hand and it was done
Said "Let it be", and there it was
A mountain, so high, it broke through the sky
A canyon, so deep, it'll bring a man to his knees




I've seen what you can do
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true
You've made the heavens and the stars
Everything, come on, how hard
Could it be?
Song by Rascal Flatts 

As I cried out about not being there and feeling like a failure - struggling up this hill, God revealed this view, making the effort worth it

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand


Song by Rascal Flatts - Stand

He invited me to sit down and soak in His Words 

 I  swiftly walked back down the trails, coming to the divided path...yes, that is how life is...always roads of choices.  I picked the wrong one, making my journey home longer...now that is life also. Yet, His wonderful creation was there on the longer path.

I had to cross a bridge...as the fight started to be won, because He has already won the war on my behalf...my feet started to jog with a lighter heart.

I started to feel the dust of condemning lies fall off my shoulders, revealing the new life bursting forth.

The trails finished with this warning sign.......returning to the traffic of life. God met me... the victory was won... and lies shattered.  Now it is my responsibility to embrace the truth.  I finished with Casting Crowns.

The Word is Alive

The Word is alive
And it cuts like a sword through the darkness
With a message of life to the hopeless and afraid
Breathing life into all who believe
The Word is alive
And the world and its glories will fade
But His truth, it will not pass away
It remains yesterday and forever the same
The Word is alive

My daughter-in-law's surgery went well, we are all very hopeful. I let go of my "worst mommy cape" and nailed it to the cross!  He shed His blood for all my sins.  John 3:14-16